Tag Archives: Cornwall

21 November: Inter-Galactic Discoveries XIV, The Sands of the Sea 2

 

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One of the things that had early enamoured the delegation’s Director of that strange planet called Earth was the presence of not one, not two, but five major salt water oceans. The Director’s home planet, within the sprawling Ossyrian Confederation, possessed many stunning streams and a few shallow lakes – most of liquefied ammonia but a few world-famous tourist attractions that ran with the mirror-brightness of molten mercury – but these were mainly for aesthetic admiration and nearby inhabitants rarely went in for a paddle or dip. Stunned by the beauty of the opalescent North Sea channel between east Kent and what he reckoned must be northern Belgium, which seemed to change colour with every mood of the capricious sky in an antipodal love affair that would have done justice to any couple – bickering or dewy-eyed – found in the classics of terrestrial literature, he would spend long hours along the shore; hunting for treasures that might litter the sand, or simply staring into the endless blue. And then, while stranded in the sun-drenched daydream called California, he had screwed up his nerve on a particularly sultry day and taken the plunge.

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Oh, yes!!  The memory washed over him like the sloppy kiss of a saucy courtesan with impossible emerald-coloured skin as soft as watered silk and gold dust swirling in her eyes. Though she could dance with abandon and even (when out of sorts) be dangerous, the unselfconsciously beautiful Pacific owned a touch that both soothed and tingled, relaxed yet stimulated, all of his weary senses. The Chihuahuas, safely ensconced in England, either with Mrs. Fox in Cornwall or Will Turnstile’s raucous tribe closer to home in Canterbury, were never forgotten as he floated on the soft swells and then, emboldened, body surfed the crashing waves of blue-green foam. No, not forgotten but perspective was regained. As the mystic said long ago, all would be well, all manner of things would be well.

TJH

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21 September: Intergalactic Discoveries, IX: California Dreamin’.

 

August 10 came, and with it a beach barbecue. Mrs Fox and the Chihuahuax were there, of course. Ajax worried that in Cornwall it would all be sardines and shellfish, but Larry the chef knew his market and was flipping burgers and bangers on one grill, seafood on the other. Mrs Fox made sure they had a burger and a banger to share, served on shiny new dishes that would keep their food free from sand. A gesture the boys appreciated, as they still preserved some of the daintiness of Ossyrian dining etiquette and loathed the feel of grit on their teeth and tongues.

The Doom Bar and cabernet flowed ever more freely once all had eaten. Ajax and Alfie sidled away behind a dune. Together they emptied their minds and waited for T to contact them. They could only receive T intermittently, as the meteorites that provided distraction for the watchers of the night also interfered with their own thought beams.

T had had a frustrating time. He hawked his neatly typed manifesto for the Ossyrian-Earthling Friendship Pact around the studios but those that let him past the reception desk took him for a would-be script writer and asked to see a fuller treatment of the theme. Hengecliffe Artists arranged a discussion with one of their writers, but after half an hour of his vision of the US Cavalry being zapped by the Ossyrian Gubernatorial Guards, T got up to go. These seemed no point in trying to harness Hollywood. T could take no more.

‘We know how Margate works’, he told Ajax and Alfie. ‘Let’s return to our upstairs room and wait for reinforcements, or another flight home.’

‘What are you waiting for?’ protested Ajax, ‘You’re surfing USA, sucking ice-creams, sipping cold beer… get on that plane!’

‘I can’t go till my booked flight leaves, and don’t forget I hear regularly from Mrs Fox, my friends. You are not doing too badly; ice-cream and doggy treats if not cold beer. It’s a dog’s life, as they say in England. And next week you have a special treat…’

At this point the meteorite shower combined with the midnight barking to white-noise T from the air waves. What was going to happen next week?

WT.

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19 September: Intergalactic Discoveries: VII – Go West Young Dog!

The first thing that happened was that Mrs Fox, another of T’s human friends, arrived in her car to take the boys to Cornwall. T thanked Mrs Fox, and silently arranged a telepathic conference with the dogs on August 10, when astronomers would be looking for meteorites and willing to attribute any unusual signals to the asteroid belt.

Ajax and Alfie were anxious at leaving their familiar town, and even more so when Mrs Fox stopped at a motorway service station. Was this their destination? A monument to human craziness: cars, cars, cars, a smell of exhaust, warm metal and hamburger, a far cry from the scientific food in the safe, encapsulated world of Ossyria.

T had sent a big bag of earth’s version of scientific food – ‘A Complete Diet for Your Small Dog – Who could ask for anything more?’ After all those fish and chip suppers on the beach, the boys could! Their new carer put down a bowlful each and plenty of water, while she sat on the grass and passed them morsels of her Cornish Pastie. ‘If her name is Fox, does she understand dogs, do you think?’ asked Alfie.

There was great relief when they were led back to the car, and off to the West. That evening they drew up at a cottage on top of a hill, with the sea at the bottom of it. There was no need to expend energy on telepathy to persuade Mrs Fox to go down there. ‘Maybe we can just sit back and enjoy the next few weeks and forget about observation duties.’ said Ajax. But it was not quite so simple. ‘You can’t be a part-time Ossyrian,’ said Alfie. ‘Just watch Mrs Fox for a start.’

Ajax shuddered. Mrs Fox was very organised, a character trait much in evidence in Ossyria, and not always endearing. ‘Look at you! Your nails need clipping, and I do believe you’ve picked up some little visitors. It’s the vet’s for you tomorrow morning.’

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